How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize