Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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