Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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