Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he thought i was a dude.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
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I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
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How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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