Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize