i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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