I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize