I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you inspire me to be a worse person
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize