Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize