remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize