if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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