My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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