apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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