Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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