Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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