I love black thongs
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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