i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
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you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
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You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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