In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize