i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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