there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize