It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
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I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
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I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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