I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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