My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
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I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
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i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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