Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
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You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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