I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize