I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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