I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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