Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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