Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize