Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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