Don't you send me to vm
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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