i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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