i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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