I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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