Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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