he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize