So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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