Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize