i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
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that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
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I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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