I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
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I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
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In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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