Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So here I am, sexting at work.
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