How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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