Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Can you bring me the toilet please
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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