so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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