i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
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