UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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