Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize