He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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