Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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