names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
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is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
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So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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